Random Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes Biography
Random Funny Quotes: Witty Thoughts to Make Your Day.
Pick up some random funny quotes on this page, and you will find valuable pieces of wisdom with a dash of humor. Wisdom is not limited to those with an illustrious background. Life gifts wisdom to each of us with a new experience. Then, why waste such beautiful learning? Let's share our wisdom through quotes. And to make it memorable, pepper it up with some humor.

Hunter S. Thompson
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.

Ronald Knox
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to rouse the interest, but long enough to cover the essentials.

Barbara Stanwyck
Egotism - usually just a case of mistaken non-entity.

Friedrich Nietzsche
Fear is the mother of morality.

Charles F. Kettering
People are very open-minded about new things -- as long as they're exactly like the old ones.

Lyndon B. Johnson
Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.

Cyndi Lauper
People used to complain to me all the time, 'I can't even hear you sing because your clothes are so loud.'

Rita Rudner
Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.

Charles Lamb
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Sean Williamson
Women: Can't live with them, can't bury them in the back yard without the neighbours seeing.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Of course I'm in shape. Isn't Round a shape?

Time flies like an arrow, while fruit flies like a banana.

I am not short, I just don't have to bend down as far.

A good essay is 10% inspiration, 15% perspiration, and 75% desperation.

Consciousness- that annoying time between naps.

May today be better than yesterday, but, not as good as tomorrow.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.

What is originality? Undetected plagiarism.

Everyone has the power to make others happy. Some do it by entering the room, others by leaving it.

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes
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